just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
