So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize