Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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