Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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