im having a threesome with these popsicles
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize