my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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