My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize