my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize