Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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