dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
