well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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