i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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