What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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