This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
