So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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