i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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