Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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