Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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