you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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