i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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