how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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