Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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