oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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