yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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