kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
