His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
