just tell him i said nine months
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As shirtless as possible
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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