There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
