Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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