Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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