with your own penis?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize