why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
