Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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