I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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