Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize