It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i think i just lost a toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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