He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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