I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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