i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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