But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
