Can Purell be used as lube?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
