He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
try to milk me bitch
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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