Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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