I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The Olympian is in my bed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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