I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
