I can text with my tongue
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
