We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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