"it" just moved
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
