I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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