I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
