Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
