I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
