Say something about gay babies.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
