And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
