did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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