Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She needs sedatives and a leash
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
