Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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