We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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